blogging again

i have started scanning my notes little by little. It's hard to focus again coz I'm fed up in those things. I have forgotten some of the lessons that i had learned from my review. I lost many reviewers I ended up borrowing from my classmates. My friend send me the developmental milestone and i'm really thankful to her. She typed 3 pages just for me and sent it to my email.
We have promise to each other that we'll share our materials together coz we'll enroll in different review centers. I promise that I'll gonna share it. I'm not stingy when it comes to her. She's very nice gal.

I tried answering past board questions my gawd I only got 9 out of 17 questions. I pissed myself for that. I'm getting stupid again. I'm frantic in attending review. I want to refresh my mind and learn new stuff from nursing. i hope the examiners will not give shit questions. I'll get crazy again if they give highly opinionated questions. It's very knotty cause you can't find it on books except for CHN. Bioethics makes me crazy also answering those freaky questions. I remember the day that i took NLE I was annoyed reading those shitty questions. It's very confusing all the choices were right.

Another story:
Yesterday evening
I went to my dentist for some minor surgery. It was very painful and my dentist asked me if i'm okay cause i turned pale after she injected the anesthesia. She introduced anesthesia to my gums but i think it was not working on me I still felt the pain when she tried to insert an instrument on my mouth.

RANDOM happenings......

whoa.... I miss blogging so much. I seems that I haven't blogged for a long long time but actually it's only 4 days since i posted my last entry. Grrrrr.... I didn't blog due to our slow connection and I can't got connection in blogspot. The only site that can be used in our freaking wifi was friendster and skype. It doesn't matter anymore the important is I can blog and surf to the fullest right now.

I went to church last sunday. I confess that I didn't listen in the hommily because my bf and I was talking about something. We haven't finished the mass also. I prayed for all the sins that I committed and Thank him for all the blessings that I received.

These past few days I have slept early. I felt so exhausted even I hadn't done anything which requires vigorous effort. The only thing that I know that exhaust me is packing our "puto and Kutsinta". I haven't mentioned here in my blog that we have a family business. My brother managed it since my father was suffering from end stage kidney failure. Having a puto, kutsinta, taho factory is very tiring business. As much as possible you have to focus 24 hrs a day which is very impossible to happen. It's true Im not exagerating. The processing is on graveyard time because our vendors will sell our product during morning hours.

Enough!!!!


I went to PRC yesterday to file my application for December 2006 NLE. PRC was chock-a-block. As I'm going there I realized that I left my cedula which is one of the requirements. I decided no not to continue and come back again on the following day. I'm with my BF I said to him about that but he insisted me to continue it. When we got there I asked one vendor where I can get cedula? she replied in a split of a second saying that she sells cedula for the price of P25. My gawd what an exorbitant price because it's only P6 when I got mine in our barangay. I bought it cause i needed it so badly without it i can filed my application. I went inside the PRC premises alone and my BF was waiting me outside for a long time without sitting. He's has a great patience when it comes to waiting for me. Enough off topic!!!!
When I got inside the PRC premises I asked the Guard if they accepting cedula that I got outside. He said it's fake and he said that I can buy cedula inside the building. I came back to my BF to say that the cedula was fake. He got it from my bag and he returned it to the vendor and got our money back. I went inside again and I get first an action sheet. I lined for an hour and half for the processing only of my papers. I also got to know my grades but i'll not mention it *hu cares?* After the processing I filled up the form. I went to line again for the meter stamp my sweats were dropping all over my body and face. I can't wipe it cause i left my hanky to my BF. I looked hagard but i didn't care cause I want to finish my application on the same day. After my stamping I went to fifth floor without using elevator. It's very tiring but i have to endeveor all the long lines and wait. When i got to the last step I looked to my application and I saw that i have no thumbmark. So I came down to 4th floor for a thumb mark. I went to my line and Finally I finished it.

I don't want to come back in PRC for application for NLE again. If i will come back there i hope it would be for oath taking *hahahaha*

My second application is faster than the 1st. Because my 1st application I had taken 2 days to finish it. I hope i will not file again for a third time. GOD please help me......


.

I made an entry earlier but i haven't finished coz our pc suddenly shutted down *rolling eyes*.
I still haven't gotten forty winks and I'm a bit groggy. Insomia is harrassing me again I should blame my otagia for this. It awakens me this past few days for that i had a hard time to got sleep so i ended up agonizing the pain. BUt finally I'm relieved for it thank You God. I still have a problem my pasta has removed from its place. it leave uneasy feeling so i removed it and i look horrible. my central incissor has a space which air can easily pass through. i have to go back to my dentist today. If i can't go today I'll gonna go there on wednesday so she could all do all the major repairs on my teeth at the same time.

I confess that i did something bad, I remorse it. I promise that i'll never do it again.
i will not elaborate it she might discover my blog and eventually read it. She'll discover what i've done to her. I regret coz she has not done anything wrong with me.

i have nothing to blah. my mind is getting blank......

Finally

At last I had my check up in EENT because of my Otalgia but the Dr. said that I feel otalgia because of my decaying teeth*ick* so he advised me to go to the dentist for tooth extraction. He also prescribed pain relivers and I have to take it with full stomach. After that I went home cause I felt my otalgia was attacking me again. As soon as I got home I ate alot and i took pain reliver but it didn't take effect. And I decided that I have to go my dentist on the followind day it might help me to reduce the pain. I consulted it to my Kuya about going to the dentist and he asked me if i want to extract my teeth on that moment. My heart was pumping so fast and I said to him YES. So i prepared myself i brushed my teeth and we went to the dentist.
As we go there i wanted to back out but i still continue what's the best for me *drama*.

The dentist that we went is my dentist when i was a in pre school. She's very nice to think it was long time ago but she still remember me and my family. should I say she's our family dentist *hu cares*. she asked why did i visit her I said "papabunot po" and i elaborated that I was suffering from otalgia due to my tooth decay. i was really nervous because of the pain the I'll feel when she'll inject anesthesia.

She already set-up the equipments and the room and she called my name. I had tachycardia when i came in to the room. I sitted and she checked my teeth. This was the frightening part she injected the anesthesia on the my gums and it's painful albeit i can tolerate it but my tears was falling down on my cheeks. she talked to me for a couple of minutes as we wait for the anesthesia to take it's maximum effect. I said to her that i already feel the numbness and she got the tools i dunno what's the name of it *not relevant*. After a short time she said to me that she had to suture my gums for fast healing. I took three stiches and she advised me to come back on wednesday to remove the sutures and extract some of tooth decay that has left actually it's 2.

Enough!!!!!

another tosh story
My friend called me. we talked about what's happening to our life. she told me that she has a otalgia. Oh what a twist of fate *hahahaha* I also shared to her that I'm also have otalgia and I consulted an EENT specialist but the problem it's not actually my ear but my tooth decay *yuck*. She also had a check up and they found out it was a nasal congestion which affects her ear.

ACK!!!!!

I went to an EENT specialist but i haven't taken my check up coz there's a horde *exage* who were in line before me. I was no. 22, I waited for an hour expecting my name to be called but i found out that i'll probably wait for 3 hours before my name will be called cause they were still in patient no.6 and I realized that I'm gonna do a long wait which I really despises. Thus, i just decided to have an appoinment on the next day which is today cause it happened yesterday *obvious*. I'm regretting for not waiting for so long coz I'm really, really bothered about my otalgia. I dread sleeping cause otalgia is attacking me whenever Im sleeping. I agonize the pain that I feel but I don't cry coz it wouldn't help me to ease the pain and it will just add pain. It awakens me for 3 consecutive nights and I had a hard time to get sleep. I already consumed tons of mefenamic acid fornutalety i haven't gotten overdosage. Sometimes it didn't take an effect to me or am I already immuned. I have to be early with my appointment with the EENT so i could i avoid the horde and long wait. NOw i still feel a little pain so I decided to blog to deflect my attention (hello how can i divert my attention with my otalgia if im talking about it).

i hope i can get better soon.

bye.... Otalgia

I hate U.

I dont want to be with u again.

ack!!!! Im being nerd.......

Many atrocious nursing issue has been rising and it really affect the integrity of Nursing Profession. I pity those board passers who can't take their oath and can't find a job. Government should help them instead of condemning them. Many high ranking officials are castigating them they were shouting for retake. They blame the board passers for the fault of others. They should find who are the roots in the alleged leakage as soon as possible. Why am I being so affected with this? reality check I'm not a board passer.

I'm glad because I know I'm ready to have review again for December 2006 NLE. I'm excited to attend review class though I haven't enrolled yet. I'm giddy in studying again and I'm frantic on what subject will I study first. I have to organize my schedules on studying. I hope i can tussle my lazziness in studying so i wouldn't cram. Now, i have forgotten some of the lessons that I've learned in my previous review like in pedia. Pediatric Nursing is very hard subject because it needs a lot of memorization which is my weakness coz sometimes i have short term memory loss. I also lost my several notes about nursing, I'm puggled in finding them so I have to scrounge from my classmates who already passed in NLE. It was very hard endeavoring in studying but i have to do it again with a great great dedication plus prayers. There's no impossible with God but i must do my part also. I wish I could pass on second take and if I failed again definitely it would be enormous depression it might lead me to mental hospital *hahaha*.
I'm elated and fully recovered from what I'd gone through. Well, goodluck to me.

NCLEX

The Philippine goverment try work to have NCLEX testing site in our country. It's good if it will happen because many Nurses who want to take NCLEX will not spend expensive expenses just to go Hongkong or any country who have a NCLEX testing site But I can see it will no longer happen because of ubiquitous cheating in NUrsing profession right now. I watched the news about this the reporter said that before a nurse want to work in US the nurse must pass the local exam which is Not true. You can take NCLEX without having a license like California they don't require the applicant to have a license in her state. Just a Diploma and Letter that supports why you don't have a license in your state. New Nurses who passed June 2006 are still in Limbo. MAny high government officials want to have a retake in test 3 and 5, this are part of exam has been tainted of alleged leakage. How about those who really worked hard and fair in NLE? would they also take an exam again. Many people ask why some passers don't want to have retake even they can pass the other exams and now they are afraid to take again. It's because of they don't want to suffer again from studying those freaking subjects. It's easy to throw a word if your not in their situation. Sorry for being ridiculous. They should stop this superflous altercation. The right thing that they can do is to find who are responsible in this Issue. Many new nurses are suffering because they can't take an oath and their license can be revoked. They also can't find a job some hospitals banned them and others required them tho have a certificate which support that they are really a Board passers but they can't get it because of the new problem that has been rising in alleged leakage. The glutton people who are responsible in this problem must put in jail without bail. They can't pay the sufferings of the people.

I hope this issue will be resolved as soon as possible.

No title

Do i need to be thankful why i didn't pass the NLE? New nurses are still hanging on the air. They can't move to their next plans. Some enormous hospital here in Philippines banned them because of the the cheating issue. Maybe if i passed In NLE I'm still jobless coz many Deans, students, government officials want to have a retake. It's unjust to those whose not involved in cheating. I fess up that i also have have a leakage in NLE i got that leak in my review center they were given us a bullets. There were 15 questions similar to the bullets that i had. It's test five I find test five very easy not because of the leak. My lecture in Psychiatric Nursing is superb he taught all the topics that included in that exam. He made psychiatric nursing very easy to his students. But that leak was not enough to pass me in exams. It was vicissitude at the back of my mind i would pass. I erred a lot in that exams and i have to blame also my shading. I have to make that as a big lessons in taking NLE which are not to erase, shade properly and read the questions 3 times before answering.

I'm Sick

I'm not feeling well, I have been suffering from toothache for 3 weeks and i can tolerate the pain. I don't want to visit my dentist for tooth extraction my gawd i have a terrible phobia when it cames to dentist. I don't want to hear those machine that is use in grinding the teeth and i don't like injections. The last time i visited my dentist was a year ago for filling and I think i have to visit her if the pain still persist this coming week. I'm also suffering from dry cough, sour throat and mild earache. Probably my earache is sue to my sour throat and cough. It's just a wild guess. Up to now i don't have a chance to visit the doctor. I must blame my smoking habit for this. I'm trying to quit in smoking and it's very hard.

Jumping on another topic

Oh I'm very desperate about my life. I'm pressured about the incoming NLE this December. My sis was pressuring me that i have to pass NLE for the 2nd time becoz she's the one who will spend my review which is quiet expensive. I'm timid in taking NLE again coz I think i might fail again. My Auntie said to me that I must focus now on studying again and I know I've done that before. Unfortunately all the hardwork that I've done was useless. It's like they try to insuniate that I'm stupid that I can't pass the exam. I think they have a second thoughts that they will just waste money for me. They don't trust my strength they are very skeptic when it comes to me. But to my siblings they always build up my siblings to the other people which is very annoying to my part. A drama again i just want to let out my feelings from them.

What will I be on the next years that will pass. Am I already a fulfilled Nurse or Am Nothing?
I will read this entry on succeding years that will pass for sure I can answer this question and i will post it in this blog.... By the way Today is my 1st month in blogging.

Congrats to me for my first month Blogging . Sue me for being superficial.

Nursing

All board passers of NLE are now in a fiasco. the other PRC decided that the retake is free and all board passers can take their oath as soon as possible in the auditorium of PRC. But I have read on the other forum that the retake is not free if i want to take again i have to pay P900 so i cound take an exam on DEcember. It was unfair because they already broadcasted that the retake is free. On the other hand, some board passer already taken their OAth but many was very dissapointed because Court of appeals filed temporary restraining order to stopped the oath of new nurses. I watched the news about the OAth last night and i saw many Nurses has been crying because they found out that they can't take an oath. It was pretty unfair and very moot because how about those passers who didn't get involved in leakage thing as well as to those who reviewed for their own.

About the leakage thing i found out in my mind that the leakage was came form the president of PNA and not from Gapuz. it's like this the prexy of PNA ows a shool and review center somewhere in manila. They conducted final coaching in certain mall and they invited some deans it was june 9, 2days before the NLE. they presented thru powerpoint some questions that was inluded in Test 3 and 5. For that many students copied the questions and gave it their firends until the leak questions reached the other review center. That review center that im refering is GAPUZ. Gapuz distributed it to his students and two student was caught using the leak. That was the start of the fiasco of June NLE takers.

anything that pops in my mind.

I haven't blogged for a long time though I'm not missing it I just blog today because I'm really bored. i can't used the our computer last night because we don't have Avr. (so what)
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I watched The Devils wears Prada but i haven't finished it i can't understand their accent. I'm having a hard time to understand the plot of the story. i love anne hathaway she's very gourgeous....
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i have a bad experience last night I lost my money I dunno who's responsible with that.
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about nursing:
PRC has decided to have a retake of board exam and those who passed the JUne 2006 exam will have their oathtaking on september. the retake is free but i cant go to prc because i bet that there's a lot of people who are filling for their Oath. i hope i can go there as soon as possible so i could take NLE in december. I had a trauma in going to PRC becoz when I filed my application for JUne NLE i stayed their for so long without taking a meal. I didn't finished my application for one day becoz im on the line at 5Pm and the guy said it's already closed so i had to come back.
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I already accepted that call center carreer is not for me. i tried applying for so many times but i can't get a job offer. after several attempts i just got realize it's not for me. I have to explore where i can excel maybe it's NUrsing so i promise that i will focus now on studying. i have 1 month left before my review while waiting for it I'm drowning myself in writing, reading, and watching. I'm glad i have learned a lot while staying at home.

Sukob, boredom

i watched SUkob yesterday with my siblings and my boyfriend. it' s one of the great filipino movies that i have ever seen. it has lot of twist and it's very terrifying. i yelled so many times during the movie. when i was watching the movie i covered my eyes for so many times gosh. A great horror movie. Kudos to all the cast of Sukob. the story is very short it only last for 1 hour and 40 minutes but it's all worth it.
hmmp... im bored again up to now i haven't gotten a job. im fed up on applying for a job. i want to focus again on studying i hope i can enroll for a review. i dunno how will i consume my time waiting for the right job.
im drowning myself on writing, reading, and watching. i read a lot everyday after i wake up i always go to inq7.net to read about the latest showbiz intigues.
i bought a CD for an accent training but it's not worth it. i wasted my money that CD that i bought it was designed for children.

im excited to watch love story in harvard it's a korea novela on channel 7. i think it's a funny korea novela with love story.

dreams, movie, plans

i had a weird dream it's about the girl who i hated so much. in my dreams she lives in our house for a long time. i was out that time when she came over to our house. And when i got home i saw her frolicking my cousins. i was annoyed when i saw her i snobbed her for a long time time. she dresses my cousins and they got close. she had a nice fashion sense which i envy but i have too *really*. one time we talked a little and we got hooked to each other. we've been inseparable in my dreams. i can't remember the other things that we done in my paradox dreams.

moving on to another topic. i watched "john tucker must die" the plot of the story is same with mean girls. it's an fun movie that suitted for teens.

the girl who is very invisible to everyone. she feels that she's a losser. she can't attract attention even she introduced herself to everyone. she's working in a restaurant which she always see the hot guy dating different girls. she has a big crush on the guy but she forgets her feeling because she know that the guy will not like him. when she had a class on PE the 3 gf of the hot guy had altercation and they ended up in the detention including the girl who worked in the restaurant because she tried to stopped the feud. the 3gf's and the gir got closed to each other and they planned to crashed the mr. hot guy.
sorry for not explaining well coz im not good on explaining.

i have plans to watch to SUkod together with my siblings. i wish we could go because of the heavy rain.

thursday
someone called me from etelecare and we had short fone interview. she asked something about me, like what can i tell about myself? what's my idea about call center? etc. after i answered all her quiries she scheduled me to take the exam. she said that i need to review about iq test and some questions about computer. after i talked to her i went to the computer to search for iq test. my gosh our computer had no connection im so pissed about that it took a day after it returns to normal but it was damn slow. So i asked my friend about the iq test that she had taken when she applied in etelecare she said it was so easy but the IT and networking exam was really hard because she has no background about computer application.

i slept early and i wake up early too.

friday....
i wake up at 7AM i sat in the computer without having a toothbrush or anything just to check if we have connection hapless to say it's still the same. i decided to buy internet card and borrow wire to connect it in the modem. i got connection i struggle in surfing in very slow connection just to review for iq test. i learned the techiniques in analogy.

i dressed up so i could prepare for the exam and interview. i got there in 12:45 and i met a girl who is applying also and take an exam. we waited for 30 minutes and they called us to go to the testing area. about the test i find the iq test very easy but the damn IT and networking was very knotty and i ended up making a wild guess. i didn't finished the iq test because they only gave 40 minutes and it was like 30 minutes only i answered 58 questions out of 80. i thought i will fail in the test because i wasn't able to finished the iq test and i made guess in iT and networking test. after we give our testpaper we waited for 10 minutes to get the results. i already accepted that i would fail in the exam and fortunalely i passed the test. After the test i had another interview just to test the communication skills again. i waited for 2hours before my name was called. As i'm waiting i practiced what will i answer i thought of all the possible questions that the interviewer might ask me. Then i was called he said sorry for the wait i answered ironically "it's okay". then the interview started i was shocked by the question that he asked to me it was "why do i want to work in call center?" i was mumbling and thinking about the answer. after several seconds i said " i have big interstest in call center industry and i look up to those people who are working in call center coz they have amazing accent and they are very articulate" i realized i got the wrong answer. i didn't expected that he will asked me about that. i thought he will ask about my course and some stuff. after the interview he said i have to wait for a call if im included in the training. hmmmp im not expecting that they will call me again.

for now after all the applications and interview that i'd done. i want to focus first on improving myself and forget about working.

i should say goodbye to all the resume that i had passed via email...........

goodluck to me again on my future....

speak english

why do we need to speak in english even when we are in our own country?

i didn't mind studying english when i was studying i regret that desperately. i always ignore my english class and i didn't review my lesson at all. So now im suffering i can't land a job because all the that i was applying for they needed an excellent command in english. i started to annoy myself when i can't speak and write well. lately i have been busy reading, writing, and studying english grammar *obvious*. i wish i would improve a lot. im having a hard looking for the meaning of the words that i didn't know. it's very fun learning new words everyday. i read every corner of magazine and newspaper even i had read that so many times. everyday that i wake up i start reading until night but i take a break once in a while. if i want to get sleepy i read those soporific article in the net. it's very helpful because i can sleep early right now and wake up early too. if there's no people around then that's the time i start to blog. im shy because they might read what im writing and they'll laugh out of court becoz of the errors that i commit.

i was oblivious in english before i thought it was just "kaartihan" but i'm completely wrong. NOw i learned the advantage of speaking english. you'll earn a lot if you know how to express yourself in english even your undergraduate. You are welcome in the world of call center. i try also practicing in pronounciation my gosh i still have p and f problem. even i know how to say the word correctly but my tongue insist me to say p as an f sound and vice versa.

whoever you are if are reading my article im open to your ranting comments....
im not schizoid type of person i know how to handle criticism it gives me mild anxiety so i will study more.

photobucket

woohooo i already retrieved my photobucket. i had forgotten my password and username for a long a time. all my pictures are stored there and i don't have a copy on our computer. finally i can download again my new pic.

fess up

i found another interesting blog which is starblog.... maybe im too late too discover that. anyway i like the girls except xiaxue before i like her but as i read her whole blog she's started getting on my freakin nerves i dunno why maybe it's all about bragging and the her facade personality. moving on i want also to make confession like what they did on starblog. i wanna share also my some of secret.

1. i duplicated my brother's key to get some moolah in his cabinet. eventually he found out that i have duplicate and he was crying at me, he said he trusted me so much and he didn't expect that i can do that to him. i felt so guilty that time. i want to forget it now bygones are bygones.

2. when i was in grade school i always brag to my classmate even it wasn't true but.

3. im trying hard if i want to achieve something don't wanna elaborate about this.

4. i have a big insecurity to those people who have flawless skin. because i have a great bad skin.

5. i always want to prick my pimples even when im in jeepney.

6. i clean my ears every 2wks. *yuck*

7. my feet has a bad odor if i don't wear socks maybe you have also if u do the same. *you're not alone*

8. i like to hear gossip

9. im not good in english

it's no longer secret....

lot's of complain

yesterday was im very annoyed because i went to teletech alone to apply for a job. i waited for so long for an initial interview, it's a 4 hours wait before i was called. the initial interview was very simple because the interview was vey lazy. he conducted interview every 5 to 10 minutes after he finished an interview with the applicant. he don't entertain the applicants many were still waiting while the interviewer was texting and talking to his collegues. he's very unproffessional i hate him.... (bitterness because again i heard to him what i don't like to hear

many applicants was whingeing because of the wait. another girl who sat beside me was very rude. she kept on listening on what the other's applicant were saying. she feels that she's the only one will get a job offer. after her interview i know that she failed also. i thought i would pass the inteview because i know that i answer all the questions that he asked to me (correctly).

OMG when will i get a job? but im still happy because i can apply alone i conquered my fear. i still want to continue to find a job despite all the rejection, discouragement, and censure that i have gotten.

coward,,,,
im a such a sloppy coward person.
u know why?
for sure you don't

yesterday i went to teletech to apply again
i left our house at 9 am and i got there at 10:45
i askes the guard if they are still hiring?
and he said yes but i have to come back at 1 pm.
i said to myself 1 pm what will i do while waiting?
it was a long wait for 2 hours. i dunno how i will consume my time until 1 am.
so i decided to back out....
i just wasted my money for the fare.

i have nothing say.....
bye bye

etc....

i have passion for writing but writing doesn't passion me. i feel relief when i write all my emotions, insecurities, etc. i fess up that im not good in writing nevertheless i tried to work things out to me. i practice a lot when it comes to writing but i noticed that im not improving.
well, i guess my practice was not enough to become a good one.

i wasn't able to attend mass yesterday because i slept and i woke up 2 am. i have broken promise again. i told on my last post that i want to be closer to god by attending mass regularly. im sorry God for what i've done.

oh it's monday now i wish i could i apply for a job but it's raining i know i will have hard time to go there. im practicing myself for an inteview i hope i wouldn't forgot what i practice. i don want to hear rejection anymore. i want to have a nice impression to the interviewer and i wish that they will hire me. goodluck to me!!!!!

goodmawnin....
i dunno what to say in this blog i just felt like i have the urge to write.
just wanna share my plans tomorrow.....
*on monday i have an invitation for an interview in ortigas coz the girl said that they have job opening in e-telecare, fluency...... but i still have doubts in going there. im being pessimistic again i think in advance that i will just fail in interview and i'll just waste my money going there... i will end up annoying myself and starts my whole week being sentimental....

let's jump on another topic.....
time is moving very fast for everyone but not for me. for me the tick of the clock every minute is equal to an hour. before i was begging for long vacation and now GOD gave me the longest vacation ever in my whole life. but i still be thankful to god because he gave me so much to blessings albeit i didn't passed in the NLE maybe GOD has another plans to me. when i was reviewing for NLE i was so very busy. i kept on studying all the lessons and my brains was really puggled that time. NOw my brain is getting to much rest and i think im getting IDIOT.

i remember that time i had to sleep early because i had class from monday to sunday, 8am to 3 pm for 2 months. i sacrificed a lot... like going to mall, less phone talks, less time to meet by BF but still my sacrifices was not enough to passed the exam.

my conclusion why i didn't passed the exams was i didn't seek help to GOD. i have to fess up that im not the religious type of person i know it's atrocious... i attend mass but not on a regular basis i just attend if i feel to. NEvertheless that was before im now try to change. i want to be closer to god now. even im not spiritual person i believed in KARma. i don't do things to others which i don't want to do to me.... i know how to act properly and i won't do things that i know i will hurt somebody. SOmetimes im tackless in playing jokes with my friends and without intension i hurt their feelings.

ill continue it later... bye

i gave a visit in INq.7 net and one of the latest news really caught my attention.
"Chinese professor wins suit against blogging Web site"

the chinese journalism professor impleaded the Blogcm.com because they refused to delete all the critisism that he got in the blog. they believed that this was the first that one person sued blog host for defammation. the chinese professor won on the case and blogcm.com was ordered to pay a sum of money and a public apology for the destruction that they made to the chinese.
the chinese believed that his students were the one wrote all the atrocious comments about his teaching strategy and the materials he used. my god where is freedom of speech? i have to shut up now maybe they will also implead me about this if they discover what im ranting for.

crappy entry

whew...... blogging again i realize that im getting hook on blogging i have been blogging in less than a month and i already posted 22 entries and this entry wound be my 23 entry. anyways who cares about this? to think my entries are all crappy and no one will attempt to read my blog. i made my blog just to lessen boredom and not to forecast about what's happening in my entire life. actually, it just for personal use like diary but it's impossible to be personal coz anyone can read my crappy blog. blogging is therapeutic i wrote all my disguting emotions here and it's such a relief. not to mention aside am a frustated nurse im also a frustrated writer. im really frustrated about my life but it's just a trial. im tired and sick about all this trials that i have been encountering.

blogging is challenging to me because it makes my mind works everytime i blog. i have to admit im having hard time to write entries it's very knotty. it takes an hour or more just to finish an entry *nosebleed*. i adore xiaxue she has the to skills to write i want to be like her im envy again.

im signing off my nose is bleeding again.......

my heart is wrenching it seems the world is turning down to me. im so hopeless again, i went to citiland to enroll for a training and my god the guy said to me the the schedules that i want was already filled up and the only schedule left was only at night. by that i didn't enroll cause if i choose to be in night schedule i will have a hard time to go home. and he also suggested if i want to be on the next training which is august 26, i will wait again for so long. when will waiting ends? i wish a have longer patience but damn im really bored as in.

i want to work so i can earn money. i want to be independent im tired of being a parasite. being a pasarite made me realized that i have to strive harder. for now i don't want to study again im shy to ask again for enrollment me and allowance to my mom. i want to focus on applying in certain job like call center but i don't have the guts in speaking fucking english. im traumatized by the rejection that i got when i was applying. when im planning to apply again the last minute i always back-out because i think im gonna fail again. im such a freakin failure and it's very obvious when you read my all crappy entries .

slut i hate u......

i hate prostitutes. i consider them as the most stupid creature on earth. why they chose to have that kind of job? Perhaps they think it's the most easy way to earn money because they are moron they always consider the easy way even their dignity is at stake. i have watch documentary about this whore so many times they said the reason is poverty why they chose to become one. it's a very lame excuse hellooo they are suffering from poverty and yet they can afford to buy CP, prepaids, clothes etc... there are lot of jobs out there they can live without selling their rotten body. maybe some of this whore enjoy this kind of business not because of money the reason is they are borne to be a bitch. they worship sex as their GOD they crave for sex every minute of their life. this inborn bitches are superb in FUCKING they consider orgasm as their twin.

sluts also have a class, which are high class and low class but still they are equal their only difference is the fee that they ask with their customers. they are also the roots in causing broken family, illegitimate child, abortion, and STD's. Even it is self-evident that they cause all those things Our government can't stop this kind of business. Many Government official are patronizing this kind of evil because of short enjoyment with this fucking ladies. some of those official are behind in these kind of monkey biz because they earn big money here. unfaithful men should be thrown in boiling water because if they stop patronizing these POKPOk, prostitution will be lessen if not totally eradicated.

new nurses

all new nurses who passed the recent board exam are suffering because PRC deferred their Oathtaking which is supposedly on Aug. 22. the OAthtaking will take place if the Investigation of NBI is already finished. they add another agony to these nurses. should i be thankful because i failed and GOD doesn't want me in that Batch. June 2006 Batch is very controversial due to leakage issue.

cheating is very rampant in our society this is one of the reason why our country is not progressing. in election, exam, etc they chose to cheat because they think this is the easiest way to achieve success. they don't want to strive hard but i can't blame them with their chosen choices. Living here in our country is difficult you work hard hard and yet your under compensated. The prices of goods are getting higher and higher while the salary is still the same. Rich is become richer while the poor is getting poorer. anways, it's none of my business.

i need a job so badly im broke. i need moolah for everyday expenses. my kuya don't want to give me money anymore but it's okay i have to learn.

sharing nothing

i slept for 15 hours and it was the longest sleep i've ever had in my entire life. it's true im not exagerating anyway who cares?

i don't know what's happening in our country lately, i didn't watch news for so long because when the show begins im always sleeping so i don't have the time to watch. how's lebanon right now? is the war between israel and lebanon is already done? i hope so because there are lot of people who get affected because of their insanity about certain problem. does war is the answer about their problem they just hurt somebody and it will end up with nothing it will evolve another problem.

i read some blogs earlier and the other blog caught my attention his blog was full of boastfullness. he tries to imitate bryanboy blog, he's very rude. As is he's the most filthy rich in our country. he critized the people who saw in his everyday life like the people who got along with. he said why other people buy starbucks even her money is just enough for her whole day allowance. it's like he wants to step down those people. i know that guy who owns that blog. but not personally. he doesn't know how to look back where he came from...... he and her bitch sister has big similarity they are both rude and social climber!!!!!!

change topic before i will say more bad things about them.

im getting excited to enroll for communication training. i hope there's still available slots because they said to the ad that they have in the newspaper the slots is limited. i hope i can get one it'a 2 weeks training i hope i'll learn alot from there if i enroll. boredom, is always with me i want to stay away from it. i also want to file my papers for NCLEX eligibility but i need $200 so they would process my papers. and if they found that im not eligible to take NCLEX i cant get the cash that i will pay. I have to take the risk of wasting my money.

insecurity

i feel so insecure about myself. im having a hard time to express what's on my mind. i want to scribble it but my hands and mind can't to it. why others can express their feelings in sensible ways? why i can't? it's a cliche but it's true. i want to improve myself from introverted to confident one. crappy. *please bare with my crappiness*

times has passed but still im nothing. i finished my school but still im jobless. ive been through a lot of interviews but they all rejected me why? what wrong with me? perhaps things happened for a certain reason. but what's that fucking reason that im telling. confusion that reigns inside ruins my path towards success. im always confused about my plot in life i don't have the courage to pursue it and i ended up regretting why i didn't try? the answer to this is, i have schizoid personality which i don't like hearing critisism. if i hear critisism about me i always starts to loathe and feel discouragement about myself. i felt great humiliation coz im like this *stupid*. im a very introverted i wish i would change as soon as possible.

moving on to my next drama scene.

i felt depression, enviousness, insecurity when i watched reporters notebook last night, it's about nurses in america almost of them succeed on their chosen career. they have built beautiful houses in 3 years time and bought a great car. unluckily some of them experienced maltreatment they didn't received enought salary even they working over time. they resigned from their job and they found another employer. and now they were impleaded by their previous employer for breach of contract. A girl said if your filipino nurse working in america you have to be aggresive don't let american nurses step you down.