my heart is wrenching it seems the world is turning down to me. im so hopeless again, i went to citiland to enroll for a training and my god the guy said to me the the schedules that i want was already filled up and the only schedule left was only at night. by that i didn't enroll cause if i choose to be in night schedule i will have a hard time to go home. and he also suggested if i want to be on the next training which is august 26, i will wait again for so long. when will waiting ends? i wish a have longer patience but damn im really bored as in.

i want to work so i can earn money. i want to be independent im tired of being a parasite. being a pasarite made me realized that i have to strive harder. for now i don't want to study again im shy to ask again for enrollment me and allowance to my mom. i want to focus on applying in certain job like call center but i don't have the guts in speaking fucking english. im traumatized by the rejection that i got when i was applying. when im planning to apply again the last minute i always back-out because i think im gonna fail again. im such a freakin failure and it's very obvious when you read my all crappy entries .