when ur down

Im very confuse about myself not on my sexuality. im puzzled about my plans how to start mylife to be successful. i want to change my bad habits like sleeping very late coz i ended up not enjoying my day. my life is at night facing the computer without doing any sense. i consume my time surfing the net, chatting, watching and i realized it didn't help me to grow a more productive person. i ended up to be indolent one. i tired of it i want to try another changelles in life like working in a company, earn money for myself so i could help my family. but i can't apply for a certain job i don't have the courage to face an interviewer who is very articulate. i have introverted personality but i can talk to them but i always have butterfly in my stomach and i ended up stuttering.

i want to improve myself in communication with other people. i want to change my introverted personality. i want to gain more confidence about myself. i adore those public speaker they are very great they can stand talking to a million of people and say what's on their mind. why i cant to that? perhaps practice and practice will make sense.

i also admire people who is good in writing for me they are very clever. it's very hard to write your thoughts in sensible way and it's also easy to write rubbish things. like what im doing putting my thoughts in rubbish way coz it's easy why would i suffer myself to write my thoughts in sensible way if i don't know how to become one. the only thing that i want right now is to express what's on my mind i don't care if this entry would turn out poppycock.

im being profound again and i hate it. i loathe myself why i cant to things others can do? im starting to regret again. i regret those days that i was given opportunity to study and i didn't grabbed it to the fullest. it's a lesson to me!!!!!!!!